Wanda Gray

Wanda Gray

Sunday, 15 December 2013 19:25

"The Lust for Love" - Sharmisa Garner

The Lust for Love


You may remember Sharmisa "Extra" Garner as the tiny, feisty, outspoken contestant during the second season of For the Love of Ray J. Ms. Garner's writing debut is The Lust for Love. In it, the author offers the reader "hot and steamy advice for your love life" and ambitiously promises that by the end of the book, the reader will know "what men want," "what women want," "what it means to be "just friends," and how to deal with the "fear of love."


Unfortunately, this book does not deliver on any of its promises. The book oscillates between being a memoir and relationship advice guide. My primary issue when reading the book was feeling that the author completely lacks any credibility in giving relationship advice. This is not just because she is single, but also because all of the past relationships that the author recounts in her book ended badly with the author getting "played" and being deceived. Ms. Garner does not indicate that she has had any healthy past relationships. Lastly, there are no empirical sources cited for her research and there aren't any quotes from men validating her theories. The advice offered in the book is harmless enough. It ranges from common sense (men like matching bra and panties) to cringe-worthy ("if you can't cook, you don't deserve a good man any way." Yes, ladies, that is an actual quote from the book). However, there is nothing new, fresh, or ground breaking in this book.

For women that are seeking straight forward, honest advice on men, dating and relationships, I recommend reading Play or Be Played: What Every Female Should Know About Men, Dating and Relationships by Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed. Fair warning, some of Mr. Nasheed's observations may border on misogyny (such as the chapter How Men Really Judge Women in which he ranks women as A-Class, B-Class, C-Class, D-Class, or F-Class females) but you will not find a more honest look at the psychology behind contemporary African American dating.

 

Review by Wanda Gray

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